Do you know any dumb criminal stories?
by on Wednesday, March 24th, 2010 | 11 Comments
Did you hear on the news today about the guys that broke into a home? They video taped their break-in, showing one of the guys breaking the windows out, etc. These fine intelligent fellas left the video tape behind. Can it get any better than that? lol What dumb criminal stories do you know of?
I believe they are called the “Darwin Awards” Anyone that survives their own stupidity is only given Honorary Awards. However, yes, I do remember one. My brother had a canoe and he left it down in the swamp. WELL.. doncha know.. brother went looking around the neighborhood and found his canoe under this guy’s trailer. The mother came out and told my brother.. NO, that is my son’s. DUH, my brother’s name was etched on it. Her son was not named Richard S.
Darwin awards are for people who are really stupid, not necessarily criminal. Try dumbcriminals.com for some stories
One is like is a cabbie in new york got his door knocked off by a car going by he went to the police department to fill out a complaint with a joint behind his ear….i love it
Our Police responded to a fight, with shot’s fired…As they arrived, everyone ran, including the gunman…As he ran away with his pistol in his hand, the gun went off, and he shot himself in the leg…………Another man tried to steal an ATM machine, by wrapping a log chain around it, attaching it to his truck’s step bumper, and ripping it out of the concrete…The machine had an alarm, which went off, and the man fled the scene..Had he looked back, he would have noticed that he ripped his step bumper off the truck, still chained to the ATM, complete with the license plate….Makes you wonder…..
A few years ago, a man walked inside of a 7-11 with a gun in his hand, in an attempt to rob the store. The man pointed his gun at the clerk,a and asked for the money. Something happened, and the clerk snatched the gun out of the mans hand. For 5 minutes, the man continued to threaten the clerk with his index finger before realizing his gun was in the hands of the clerk.
A dude also once used a cigarette lighter to peer into his gas tank. Pfft.
First, a note to Shar. These are not specifically The Darwin Awards, for those cover a wide range of dumb activities that ultimately lead to pulling someone’s genes out of the gene pool. Yes, dumb crooks can qualify, but the Darwin Awards are much more than that. They are worth reading…and there are several editions.
Yes, there are many fine examples of dumb crook stories. Some are laced with bad luck, too, like the story of the poor fellow who had stolen a wallet and checkbook and tried to forge a check and cash it. As “luck” would have it, the banker to whom he gave the check (and stolen ID) was the true owner of the check and stolen ID.
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Then there’s the Texas fellow who tried to pay his arranged $9600 fine with, you guessed it, a forged check!
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I’m not sure this is dumb, but it makes you wonder. A local man in my hometown was arrested for shoplifting in a nearby town. What did he steal? Just a toothbrush and Ex-lax.
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A fair number of crooks have written robbery notes on papers with their name and address on them. A classic event that might be a bit apocryphal or might be true is posted all over the Web as are many, many others. This one is pasted from http://www.lwcbooks.com/crooks.html and is worth reading:
Wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun, a thief burst into a bank in Florida one day. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, “Freeze, mother stickers, this is a f— up!
For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he’d been about to draw his gun. He couldn’t have drawn and fired before the thief got him.
The thief ran away. The bank, in memory of the event, put a plaque on the wall – “Freeze, Mother-Stickers, this is a F— Up!”
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One of my very favorites goes back to a long time ago in Australia. A prisoner had been a model of cooperation and worked himself up to trustee status. He worked in the prison receiving docks, loading and unloading trucks, among other duties. Well, it seems his improved behavior was motivated by a grand scheme of escape.
One day he slipped into a large container of a bakery truck that was outbound after dropping off bread and other goodies. The container was wheeled into the truck, which then moved on to its next destination. When it got there, the man made his break…but he was a bit disappointed at being inside a different prison.
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Ah, well…………..onward. I look forward to reading other offerings. Thanks for a great question.
Dumb is as Dumb does
I saw one website of stupid crimes. It wasnt the Darwin Awards site.
One was a guy driving a Winnebago. He put it in cruise control, then went in the back and made a sandwich.
After surviving the crash, he sued Winnebago for not giving enough instructions, in their Owner’s Manual, and WON ! Got a new camper too.
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Another was a man who broke into a house. The people were on vacation for 2 weeks.
I cant recall how exactly, but he went into the garage. The door ( from the kitchen to garage)lock was set, so he accidentally locked himself in there.
They had disconnected the garage door ( or rigged it not to work somehow) It didnt open.
He lived on dog food for 2 weeks, til they came home.
Sued them ..and WON !
I heard one about a man who broke into a house and stole a lot of stuff. He took it to the pawn shop and when asked for ID, showed his drivers license. The police checked all pawn shops and found the stolen items and the ID of the man who stole them, went to his house and arrested the man! Some how I thought that was pretty dumb.
A few year ago, in Maryland, a bank robber handed the teller his note – it was written on the back of one of his own deposit slips.
Some after, a robber hands another teller a note. She asks for Identification and he dutifully hands her his valid driver’s license.
Criminal activity, by its very nature, isn’t very intelligent behavior.