Funny Weird News

11 Responses to “Do you know of any dumb criminal stories?”

1. Thomas R says:

   March 28, 2010 at 1:58 pm

   George W. Bush and friends commit war crimes.

   Wait ten years.

   Then go to Europe.

   Hilarity ensues.
2. Kaylie Girl says:

   March 28, 2010 at 2:52 pm

   I heard a news story on the local country radio station. It was about a man who went to a national park and dismembered several picnic tables to use for lumber. He was caught loading the boards into his van and when the police asked why he did, he simply stated that he just needed boards to build a porch on his house! How stupid is that…
3. LR says:

   March 28, 2010 at 3:51 pm

   A few years ago in the small town where I live, a jail prisoner escaped.
   The local police were searching all over town, when they got a call to come out to a house. It seems the prisoner had decided to hide in a dog house, and the dog was upset. It didn’t help the prisoner that the dog was the local judge’s.
4. Roman Esteban Due April 12 says:

   March 28, 2010 at 4:23 pm

   I heard of a story about a man that was running from the police and hopped a barb wired fence that ended up being the local jail.
5. Joann says:

   March 28, 2010 at 4:47 pm

   A guy who was at my friends bar was so drunk and pissed off because his gf was hitting on somebody else that he thought it would be a good idea to try to run her over in the parking lot. Since he was wasted he missed and ran right into the bar totaling his car and taking out a wall to the bar. Not only that he didn’t have insurance so he wrecked his car and had to face charges for the damages to the bar he couldn’t pay for on top of drunk driving and attempting to run over his gf.
6. jkj3b says:

   March 28, 2010 at 5:39 pm

   I remember one on the radio a while back involving a criminal fleeing an armed robbery. It was night and he chose to run into the woods with the police not right on his tail but not too far behind. Turns out they were hanging back and just following him because he was wearing those tennis shoes that have the blinking lights in them. The police weren’t sweating it too much.

   Also, a guy called in a bomb threat to a corporate campus. A female employee took the information and just talked to him. She convinced him that she thought it was impressive and masculine that he could build a bomb. She chatted him up until he asked her out. She got all his contact info and agreed to meet him outside that very building. Alas, no pretty lady waiting for our Romeo- only police officers.
7. Cherokee says:

   March 28, 2010 at 6:18 pm

   I thought the one on the series Worlds Stupidest Criminals where the guy was making out with a truck was pretty dumb.
8. Shauna C says:

   March 28, 2010 at 7:09 pm

   Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in district court when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, “I should have blown your head off.” The defendant paused, then quickly added, “If I’d been the one that was there.” The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30-year sentence.

   I’ve always loved this story. lol
9. Bethenny says:

   March 28, 2010 at 7:34 pm

   Tons of stories here: http://www.dumbcriminals.com/
10. flatbushsam says:

    March 28, 2010 at 8:03 pm

    The police told the the suspect that they needed a positive ID as they brought him in front of the woman victim. The suspect said, “Yup. I’m sure that’s the woman I robbed.”
11. Nightrider says:

    March 28, 2010 at 8:25 pm

    There are some good ones above me , but I want to add one that happened to me. I was with the Sheriff’s Department in 1988. We received a call of a robbery in progress at a bakery outlet. We arrived in less than 4 minutes to find the perp lying a huge pool of blood at the front door with hysterical clerks and customers inside.

    It seemed that the resident rocket scientist got hold of an old coach double barreled shotgun ( the type with the exposed hammers on the outside that you have to pull back before firing). He sawed the barrels down to about 5 inches and cut off the stock in the back, making the entire weapon less than a foot in length.

    In reviewing the security camera tapes, he entered the store, pulled the shotgun from under his shirt ( it was tucked into the front of his pants), pulled the hammers back and robbed the store.

    The clerk handed the money over in a paper bag as he requested. He turned to run out the door and started to put the active shotgun back into his pants. He either snagged the trigger or got it caught in his clothing. He blew off a good chunk of his thighs and his reproductive organs all over the floor and backspattered the rear of the store and patrons inside.

    He ran three steps on the camera before he collapsed, which is exactly where we found him when we rolled in.

    He did survive his ordeal and went to prison. The good side of this story is no more regeneration of future criminals of America.

    I don’t know if you want to call this a “dumb criminal” story, but we laughed about it for years afterwards.

    Best of luck and I hope this is useful to you